Recently I was reading a blog which highly recommended Paul McGee’s book S.U.M.O (Shut Up and Move On) – so I gave it a go and I must say, I loved it.
McGee’s 7 questions to ask yourself, really do help to really put things into perspective.
By asking yourself these questions, you can really assist with a more effective analysis of your mindset and consider your day to day perspective. You can also recognise that not everyone sees the world in the same way you do.
So, the next time you are finding it difficult to move your way through a problem, ask yourself these questions:
1. On a scale from 1-10, where 10 is death – how bad actually is this?
We catastrophise a hell of a lot. We say things like, “This is terrible”, “I can’t cope”, “Nothing can be this bad”. But when we rate whatever is “so bad” in the moment, how bad actually is it?
2. How important will it be in 6 months.
We can also ask ourselves – will we even remember this situation in 6 months. We might remember the current situation we are in (being in isolation) in 6 months time, but will we remember that our partner was annoying because he didn’t pack the dishwasher correctly, or will we remember being annoyed when the kids left the lights on? Or is it more likely we will remember spending more time together, how people reached out to provide support to one another, the joy of getting out and taking time to go for walks or the longing we felt to just go out for dinner to a beautiful restaurant for a family birthday.
3. Is my response appropriate and effective?
I know my family members are all experiencing cabin fever. A drive just to get milk from the shops now seems like an excursion. But really, is it all that bad. We are surrounded by all the mod cons. I can binge watch any series I want, and I am surrounded by people who I can talk to (even if they are not in the same house as me). So there really is no need to be tearing my hair out. As my gorgeous Mum used to say – “This too will be over”.
4. How can I influence and improve this situation?
I can focus on the things I can control right now. I can control my attitude, I can control my mood, I can control what I focus my attention on, I can control how I take care of myself, I can control the amount of effort I put in.
If I choose to resent the situation I can end up in an entirely different place. So, what have I got in my arsenal to influence and improve the situation?
5.What can I learn from this?
I must admit, I have been glued to my laptop a bit lately and have read so may blogs I had archived, and enrolled to participate in so many webinars – I feel like a human sponge – just soaking it all up. I have also never realised how supportive my friends and family actually are. I have also realised that laughter can really be the best medicine and I have tried to laugh out loud daily to get my endorphins flowing.
6.What will I do differently next time?
Developing our mental toughness and resilience comes from doing things differently and learning from adversity. What this will give us is the memories to remember we can thrive in times of difficulty. We can pull together, learn new skills and thrive.
7.What can I find positive in this situation?
Sometimes it’s hard to find the positives in a situation. Our brains have such a negativity bias that it is hard to get in a positive head space. But I have to tell you that my garden has never looked so good, the back shed that has taken 2 years to be cleared out is now immaculate and I can finally find things in my pantry again. I have also built new alliances, gained different clients and I am getting around to a whole lot of things I was putting off for ages.
So how could you apply these 7 questions to gain perspective and SUMO your way forward.
If you are interested in gaining greater skills to manage your mindset, contact Michelle at Bakjac Consulting on 0412047590 or via email – michelle@bakjacconsulting.com
Michelle Bakjac is an experienced Psychologist, Organisational Consultant, Coach, Speaker and Facilitator. As Director of Bakjac Consulting, she is a credentialed Coach with the International Coach Federation (ICF) and a member of Mental Toughness Partners and an MTQ48 accredited Mental Toughness practitioner. Michelle assists individuals and organisations to develop their Mental Toughness to improve performance, leadership, behaviour and wellbeing.
