As the new year unfolds and depending on where we live, we’re all uniquely experiencing different thoughts and feelings about what is happening to us and those close to us.
One of the greatest gifts we can receive in life is to learn how to hold on despite the tumultuous storms we find ourselves in. Some of these storms are well deserved and self imposed, while others can be unwarranted and completely outside of our control. In the end, it doesn’t matter if it was a category 1 storm or a category 5 tsunami-you need to endure them all just as you needed and will continue to need to survive all types of downpour.
In life, you’re either heading into a storm, going through a storm or coming out of a storm.
As the saying goes, we are all in the same boat, but some of us have very different sailing skills.
Our opportunity is to build some mental toughness in our mindset that helps you approach your challenges more calmly realistically and objectively and in some cases identify opportunities you didn’t anticipate.
I think these 5 strategies suggested by writer Paul Largueta and reproduced from Thrive Global are exceptionally helpful .
1) COMMITMENT IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN EXCITEMENT
Consider thinking back to your childhood. Every time you started something new you were excited. The possibilities were endless. During this initial phase you didn’t really know what you didn’t know. Everything was easy. It was all fun. That is, until you decided that you wanted to be good at it.
In the beginning everything is easy-especially when you aren’t keeping tabs on progress. There’s nothing wrong with this. There are plenty of activities & hobbies that people participate in for leisure sport or to pass the time, but the minute you cross over from recreational participation to actually wanting to win or to become great at something, it will inevitably become harder. You cannot escape this.
When you start speaking to different people and hear different success stories in different fields, one common phrase you hear is, “Had I known just how difficult it really was going to be, I might not have gotten started.”
The point here isn’t to dwell on how hard something is or is going to be. The point here is to acknowledge that at some point it won’t be fun, and it is then that it will require commitment on your part. Anyone can give up when the excitement wears off. Champions stay committed for however long it takes.
2) STOP PLAYING THE NEGATIVE POSSIBILITIES IN YOUR HEAD
Have you ever had to make a difficult phone call that you’ve been dreading for hours, days, weeks, or even months, and after you eventually mustered the courage to do it, the outcome was nothing like you had expected?
We all have. Human beings are notorious for this. We fantasise about all the possible outcomes, we waste energy and lose sleep over the stories in our heads, over things that don’t happen.
Stop. Doing. This.
There’s no point in wasting time over things that are completely out of your control. In fact, it’s more productive to face your challenges as early as possible so that you can invest your energy in responding to them or in finding solutions.
The key is disrupting this pattern. Consider identifying a song, photo, scripture, poem, or passage that you can access in an instant that inspires you. It can be a photo of your family and certain songs that remind you of incredibly special moments with them. These are the kind of songs that give can give you goose bumps when you hear them. Talk about disrupting a pattern.
When you catch yourself playing, and replaying different cut scenes in your head, look for that source of inspiration. Use it. No matter the hour or the circumstance.
3) – GET UP & TAKE ACTION
This sounds overly simplistic, but it’s often overlooked. When you’re stressed out and paralysed in fear it can be suffocating. Those thoughts manifest themselves physically. Don’t believe me? Stress is one of the leading causes of death in our country.
The best way to combat stress is to act. Don’t sit on the couch stewing in your mess. That’s quite possibly the worst things you can do, especially if you haven’t mastered your own thoughts yet.
Find and use your source of inspiration. Focus on it until it changes your physical state, and most importantly get up! No. Now – actually physically stand up. When you stand up it puts you in a physical stance of authority. It empowers you. Think about even working standing up in the office.
Ideally, consider tackling what’s challenging you at the moment, but everyone has a problem with procrastination at times, so consider finding a small easy challenge to overcome. Whatever it might be. Start small. Tackle it. Acknowledge it. Find another task to complete. Complete it. Praise yourself for it. Take pride in work. Don’t half ass it. Whatever you do make sure that you do it to the best of your ability. You are developing a pattern here.
Consider this mantra
“How you do some things, is how you do everything.”
By starting with the smaller tasks and completing them as perfectly as you can you are developing this skill and commitment to excellence. Consider the suggestion that to have the perfect day, you start out by making the bed.
You will eventually graduate to completing the larger tasks, hopefully sooner rather than later.
4) – MOST FAILURE IS NEVER FINAL
In life there are few mistakes that are truly final. The reason that most people avoid taking risks is out of fear for what other people will think of them. Ready to have your mind blown? Most people don’t care about your screw ups because they are too busy condemning themselves for their own. So, if everyone is stuck in their own head chastising themselves, why spend any energy worrying about what other people think about you? Accepting this can be unbelievably liberating. When you give yourself permission to make mistakes in pursuit of your dreams amazing things happen.
Don’t get me wrong, that does not give you have a pass to do things unethical or morally wrong. What you need to know is that not all of your ideas are going to work, and that’s okay. There may be a period in your life when you will try anything and everything that is presented to you. You might even be known as the guy or gal that is always trying something new, or the person who is always looking for some get-rich-quick scheme. Most can empathise with this. Many of us have fallen guilty to the shiny object syndrome from time to time in our lives. Don’t let those comments discourage you from testing and trying. Just don’t make a habit of starting things and never investing the effort to see them through.
Your failures do not define you and the more often you try and fail, try and fail, try and fail, the more resilient you become. It is the people who spend their lives trying to avoid failure that never truly realise their full potential, all because they treated their first failed attempt at something as the end all be all. Don’t let that be you.
5) – LISTEN TO DAILY POSITIVE REAFFIRMATIONS
You may have been told this before and chances are you’re not doing enough of it. Even the most positive people you know have to wash their brain with positive messages daily and multiple times a day. The most successful people you know, listen or read these kinds of messages regularly. It is because we are conditioned to think negative thoughts. It is engrained in our DNA. We come from a long line of hunters and gatherers and our forefathers had to be on their toes at all times or they would be eaten by larger animals. Like them, our brains are hard wired to keep you safe. Your brain doesn’t want your body to die and in order to survive and stay alive you question everything. You don’t have to be taught to think in a negative way, but you can be taught to be a positive thinker.
The best way to become a positive thinker is to read and listen to positive material as often as time permits. If you are not careful you can begin to stew in your own thoughts, wouldn’t you rather listen to something inspirational rather than question your skills.
Want to know how to develop your sailing skills to weather the storm and develop Mental Toughness? Send me an email at michelle@bakjacconsulting.com to enquire about coaching or training to build your strategies.
Michelle Bakjac is an experienced Psychologist, Organisational Consultant, Coach, Speaker and Facilitator. As Director of Bakjac Consulting, she is a credentialed Coach with the International Coach Federation (ICF) and a member of Mental Toughness Partners and an MTQ48 accredited Mental Toughness practitioner. Michelle assists individuals and organisations to develop their Mental Toughness to improve performance, leadership, behaviour and wellbeing. You can find her at www.bakjacconsulting.com or michelle@bakjacconsulting.com
