In the past 5 months in Australia, we have had more individuals die as a result of suicide than we have from Coronavirus. We have had significantly more deaths by suicide nationwide since the pandemic began, yet we seem to not see this statistic reported. This is another pandemic which is also going viral.
When we see someone who may be demonstrating the signs of poor mental health, many of us feel ill equipped to even start a conversation or offer support.
So how can we build some confidence to understand and recognise that it’s actually not that hard to reach out and let another human being know that you are there for them, that you will support them and that you will listen at any time.
So, consider some opportunities you have to reach out and let someone know you are there.
1) Don’t pressure them to talk about things that they don’t want to talk about. Silence is golden. If they don’t want to talk, don’t try to make them. Just sitting next to someone and letting them know you are there is often enough to give support. They will talk when they are ready.
2) Listen. We have to really listen to what someone is telling us. We want to listen with empathy (not sympathy). Really try and understand what someone is explaining to you with the intent to understand rather than try and solving the problem.
3) Don’t judge. When we start listening, we can immediately go into judgement mode. We question why they could possibly be feeling this way, given that from our perspective, they have so much going for them. Try and put down those judgements and listen to how they feel without judging why they might feel that way.
4) Offer emotional support. Let your person know that you will be here to listen and lean on whenever they need.
5) Ask. Rather than telling someone what you think they need. Ask your person what they think they need from you and how you could help. Never assume you know what’s best for someone else. No two people are alike and therefore our needs will be different. You can support someone to find the support and resources that are right for them.
6) Spend time with them. Many individuals with poor mental health feel isolated and alone. Individuals feel they don’t know what to say or do around them, so instead they just avoid them. Remember, your goal does not need to be to “fix” the issue, but just being there can sometimes be enough.
7) Don’t be afraid to talk. It is ok to ask someone how they are feeling. The answer may not be positive, but you can listen just the same.
8) Check in. You don’t have to be there every moment of every day and overcrowd someone with support, but checking in on your person regularly allows them to get a sense that you care and that you are there for them – then maybe when they need you, they will feel confident enough to call you.
9) Support their routine. Offering support with some daily tasks can take a real load off. Cooking, washing, cleaning, paying bills can seem all too hard sometimes. You can offer to support with some daily tasks – it’s not that much effort to cook an extra meal when you are cooking for your family and take it round to someone who feels they don’t have the energy to make themselves something.
10) Remind them you are here to help. Let your person know that you will be there, and you can provide a safety net when they need it. You can explain that you may not always “get it right” but that you will always be willing to listen and learn.
11) Educate yourself. There are so many resources out there now as to how to support and assist someone experiencing poor mental health. Find out what’s out there and what resources fit you and your person’s needs.
Want to know more about supporting an individual with poor mental health? Send me an email at michelle@bakjacconsulting.com to enquire about building your personal strategies or those of your team or workplace.
Michelle Bakjac is an experienced Psychologist, Organisational Consultant, Coach, Speaker and Facilitator. As Director of Bakjac Consulting, she is a credentialed Coach with the International Coach Federation (ICF) and a member of Mental Toughness Partners and an MTQ48 accredited Mental Toughness practitioner. Michelle assists individuals and organisations to develop their Mental Toughness to improve performance, leadership, behaviour and wellbeing. You can find her at www.bakjacconsulting.com or michelle@bakjacconsulting.com
