We can all occasionally experience negative thoughts that keep us awake at night and make us worry – sometimes excessively.
But if your head is full of negative thoughts, your mood is correspondingly probably pretty negative.
Just think of some of the unhelpful thinking styles you could be engaging in:
· All or Nothing Thinking – Thinking in extremes. Eg – something is either 100% good or bad
· Catastrophising – Jumping to the worst possible solution
· Over-Generalising – Seeing a pattern based on a single event.
· Mental filter – Only paying attention to certain types of evidence (that doesn’t count)
· Disqualifying the positive – Discounting positive information or twisting a positive into a negative.
· Jumping to Conclusions - Mind reading or predicting the future
· Low Frustration tolerance – Saying things like “this is too difficult” or “I can’t stand it”.
· Minimisaton – Discounting the importance of something.
· Emotional reasoning – Assuming that because we feel a certain way our hunch must be true.
· Demands – Using words like “should”, “must” and “ought”.
· Labelling – Assigning labels to ourselves and others (I’m rubbish”).
· Personalisation – Taking too much or too little responsibility.
· Blaming – Blaming others for how we think and feel.
Any of these seem familiar?
So how can you manage these ANTs (Automatic Negative Thoughts) and train them to be PETs (Performance Enhancing Thoughts)
Consider the 3 Rs
Review, Reflect, Reframe.
Review
• We need to recognise our ANTs and have the ability to refrain from knee jerk reactions in response to our emotions.
• We need to consider the ability to stop and think before we react
• This involves knowing what is important to you (and what isn't) and how to translate that into your actions and behaviour.
Reflect
• Reflection is the ability understand how it feels when you are out of control
• It is considered that all major emotional reactions tend to stem from two main emotions, desire and fear – what fears or desires are driving you?
• Identify your emotion. What message is my emotion sending me?
• “If you name them you can tame them.”
Reframe
• A powerful but simple technique
• Move from Below the Line to Above the Line
• The goal is to REFRAME a negative statement by changing it into a positive question to prompt a change in thinking and focus on problem solving.
Challenging Questions
A good way to test the accuracy or reasonableness of your thoughts might be to ask yourself some challenging questions.
Is this thought helpful?
Is there another way of looking at this?
What evidence is there?
How would someone else see this?
What advice would I give someone else?
Is this fact or opinion?
Is there an “above the line” way to look at this?
If you want more assistance to manage your unhelpful thinking styles, please contact Michelle Bakjac on 0412047590 or via email michelle@bakjacconsulting.com
Michelle Bakjac is an experienced Psychologist, Organisational Consultant, Coach, Speaker and Facilitator. As Director of Bakjac Consulting, she is a credentialed Coach with the International Coach Federation (ICF) and a member of Mental Toughness Partners and an MTQ48 accredited Mental Toughness practitioner. Michelle assists individuals and organisations to develop their Mental Toughness to improve performance, leadership, behaviour and wellbeing.
