We are currently experiencing very challenging times and we need to enable our opportunity to cultivate positivity whenever and wherever we can.
But one question we need to ask ourselves is – are we feeding the right wolf?
I love this old Cherokee legend.
An old Cherokee is teaching his grandson about life:
“A fight is going on inside me,” he said to the boy.
“It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One is evil–he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.”
He continued, “The other is good – he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. The same fight is going on inside you–and inside every other person, too.”
The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather: “Which wolf will win?”
The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.”
The First Lesson- The Fight Is Eternal
The first part of the story is telling us that we can never get rid of the first wolf, the first wolf will always be there. The fight between two wolves is eternal.
Both wolves will always be there. This applies to our emotions, behaviours, habits, and every other aspect of our life.
We can fall into the trap of trying hard to banish the negative side of ourselves. We may for example force ourselves to eat 100% healthy all the time, beat ourselves up for relaxing even for just a minute, and try to get rid of all our negative thoughts.
But the actual truth is that none of us is living in pure bliss. What we can do is to act in spite of those negative feelings or hard times. We can take those fears, those worries, those doubts and move forward anyway. That’s how you feed the second wolf.
· Feeling unmotivated to workout, workout anyway.
· Not feeling confident in your upcoming presentation, do it anyway.
· Not happy with your spouse, show him/her your love
Imagine if we’re paralysed by the first wolf, by doing nothing, accomplishing nothing, and getting nowhere. We’d lose the momentum to move forward and indirectly we’d be feeding the bad wolf!
Besides, what will you be doing by telling yourself you haven’t accomplished anything? How will you feel when you get nothing done all the time? You won’t just stop at where you are; you will be moving backwards. And the bad wolf will get stronger day by day.
The Second Lesson – Small Actions Build Momentum
Now, we need to start telling ourselves we are worthy. We need to begin to believe in our ability and act in spite of fears and doubts, in spite of constraints and challenges. One step forward will always be a step ahead even it’s tiny.
Instead of doubting yourself and doing nothing, you can try to learn new things and expand yourself at a slower pace. Instead of focusing on the fears within, start with ONE thing you should (and could) do that is right in front of you.
· Want to lose 20 kgs and achieve your fitness goals? Start by walking for 15 minutes a day if you haven’t yet. Then start learning squats and maybe push-ups with your body weight and make slow progress from there.
· Want to build a community with a vast audience? Focus on delivering quality content, and start building ONE audience at a time. Provide value to ONE person at a time and grow your audience from there.
· Want to start a business? Start by validating your idea and find one customer. Then optimise your product and offering from there.
The Third Lesson – Start Feeding The Right Wolf
One truth to remember is that it’s so much easier to feed the first wolf — the first wolf is there to encourage the easier options in life. It’s easier to complain, procrastinate, dismiss, ignore, and give up.
There is almost no effort required to do those things, and you’re getting the reward with the sensation of relieving and instant gratification without much an action.
The second wolf is very different; it’s picky, it’s harder to feed. It’s challenging, tiring and time-consuming to do things like learning, teaching, inspiring, sharing or simply sticking to a new behaviour. These things take so much energy, effort, momentum, and guts. And you don’t usually see immediate results from them.
Which wolf you choose to feed will define who you are, and we all know we should feed the second wolf — even if it’s harder. Feeding the second wolf is how we end up feeling a sense of accomplishment and success at the end of the day.
By conquering the temptation of the first wolf we opt for a much more challenging (but positive) option in life.
Want to feed the right wolf and cultivate your positivity? Send me an email at michelle@bakjacconsulting.com to enquire about coaching and /or training to build your strategies.
Michelle Bakjac is an experienced Psychologist, Organisational Consultant, Coach, Speaker and Facilitator. As Director of Bakjac Consulting, she is a credentialed Coach with the International Coach Federation (ICF) and a member of Mental Toughness Partners and an MTQ48 accredited Mental Toughness practitioner. Michelle assists individuals and organisations to develop their Mental Toughness to improve performance, leadership, behaviour and wellbeing. You can find her at www.bakjacconsulting.com or michelle@bakjacconsulting.com
