Sometimes life just does not go to plan (especially this year) and shit just seems to happen continuously and we struggle to pick ourselves up and dust ourselves off. When we feel like we are knocked down by challenges and stress day after day after day, we feel our motivation and spark can take a real knock and everything can just seem that much harder.
When we feel this way, it can seem that we just can’t find the energy. We have what I call “gorilla syndrome” –we walk around with our knuckles dragging on the ground all the time. It just feels like everything is too hard and we “don’t want to adult”.
But believe it or not, we often have hidden reserves that we didn’t even know we had and if we stop and give ourselves the opportunity, we can access this reserve and let it kick in when we really need it.
1)Kick Start Yourself Into Action – When adversity strikes, we can sit and wallow, and sometimes that is ok and reasonable for a short while, but at some point we need to adopt an action mindset. We need to start to consider the steps we need to take to kick start our thinking around options, resources, ideas and strategies and access our reserves of potential and see the adversity as an opportunity to learn, grow and flex our mental toughness muscles.
2) Kick Your Critic To The Kerb – It’s always easier to remember all the times that you didn’t cope or the things that did not go to plan. This negativity bias we possess means that our inner critic can often get the better of us. But consider your opportunity to think about a time when you actually exceeded your own expectations. Remind yourself of the situation and the circumstances and that you could access these reserves when you really needed them.
3) Just Reach Out – You really don’t have to be Wonder Woman or Super Man and do everything yourself. Often there are people around you who really care and all you have to do is ask. It is not a sign of weakness to ask for help. Tapping into the resources offered by the people around you only gives you an opportunity to be stronger.
4) Focus On What You Can Control – Too often we lament on the things we can’t control, focusing on all the “What ifs” of a situation and spend a lot of our time, wishing “it had never happened”. This is really a waste of energy and quite honestly just gives you brain drain. So focus on the things you can control… the next action step.
5)Reframe – Every time you say to yourself “this is too hard”, reframe a question to self…. “So how could you make it easier?” Don’t accept the “below the line” statement to yourself. Ask yourself the “above the line” question and consider the options and possibilities you actually have.
6)Identify Your Strengths – Consider what your key strengths are and whether you are utilising these strengths to their full potential. If you have a love or learning – are you using this to consider how you can gain skills to manage your current adversity? If your superpower is curiosity, how could you spark this up and consider all the options you have to master a stressor in your path. Do you know your super power and how to use it?
So if you have lost your spark, do yourself a favour….. pick yourself up, dust yourself off and be a Raider of that lost spark – you never know what treasures you will find within your inner resources.
Want to know more about regaining your spark and would like some coaching? You can contact me via michelle@bakjacconsulting.com or by calling 0412047590.
Michelle Bakjac is an experienced Psychologist, Organisational Consultant, Coach, Speaker and Facilitator. As Director of Bakjac Consulting, she is a credentialed Coach with the International Coach Federation (ICF) and a member of Mental Toughness Partners and an MTQ48 accredited Mental Toughness practitioner. Michelle assists individuals and organisations to develop their Mental Toughness to improve performance, leadership, behaviour and wellbeing.
