I just finished reading a great little book by Sally Bibb about maximising our strengths. But what about the things we are not so good at? How do we “get around” these things and move forward.
People sometimes think that there is nothing they can do about their weaknesses. Not true. Consider these five ways you can avoid being stymied by your weaknesses.
1) Use Your Strengths.
If you know you’re going to be in a situation where you might have to do something and you’re not that good at it, think about whether one or more of your strengths can help you out. For example, imagine you’re attending a meeting where you don’t know the people well and you think there may be conflict. If connecting with others is not a particular strength, you may not be able to rely on that to build rapport. But if you are a naturally curious person, you can use that curiosity to demonstrate that you are interested in their point of view. You could prepare a list of curious questions to show you want to know other’s opinions.
2) Ask Someone else for help
If you work with others, you will have an idea of what they are good at and vice versa. Make a pact that you will help fill each other’s gaps. For example, if you’re not comfortable with analysing data and a colleague is, you could ask them to check your spreadsheets for you. And if you are good at written communication and they are not, you could offer to check important emails for them.
3) Break it Down
We can sometimes think of what we perceived as our weaknesses as a big thing, and this kind of thinking can hold us back. For example, we might label ourselves as “not confident’, “shy”, or a “workaholic’ or “I talk too much”. If you find yourself doing this, try and break the perceived weakness into component parts. Let’s take shyness for example. Ask yourself:
· Are there certain occasions when I am shy and others when I’m not?
· If the answer is yes, what enables me to not be so shy on some occasions?
· Could any of my strengths, values or motivation help me to overcome my shyness?
· Is there a positive narrative that I could adopt that would make me feel better about my shyness?
Remember “a belief is just a thought that we keep on having”. So how can we challenge these beliefs?
4) Reframe It
Reframing can be a great way of thinking about something differently and in a way which can be much more constructive for us. Consider our shyness example. We could consider thinking:
· I tend to be shyer when I’m meeting new people
· I tend to be less shy when I know people, or think they like me.
· My conscientiousness and desire to do a good job can help me, because I can only do a good job if I can put my shyness to one side and take the initiative with people.
· I could try replacing the word “shy” with “understated”. And I could reframe my shyness and instead think of myself as the sort of person that caring, sensitive people value.
So, consider, what are the stories you are creating for yourself that are not very helpful and manage these in a more constructive and helpful way.
5) Be Aware.
The last thing you can do is simply be aware of when you are in a situation that requires you to use something that you consider a weakness. Sometimes this can’t be avoided and acknowledging to yourself that you’re going against your grain can mean you are less likely to give yourself a hard time and more likely to accept that you are just human after all. If that is hard, think about how you would treat your best friend if they had that same weakness. We are often much more forgiving of other people’s weaknesses than we are of our own. So be kinder to yourself.
Want to know more about capitalising on your strengths? Contact Michelle on 0412047590 or via email michelle@bakjacconsulting.com
Michelle Bakjac is an experienced Psychologist, Organisational Consultant, Coach, Speaker and Facilitator. As Director of Bakjac Consulting, she is a credentialed Coach with the International Coach Federation (ICF) and a member of Mental Toughness Partners and an MTQ48 accredited Mental Toughness practitioner. Michelle assists individuals and organisations to develop their Mental Toughness to improve performance, leadership, behaviour and wellbeing.
