Recently, a number of my clients have been talking to me about how helpless they have felt seeing the unfolding war in Ukraine. We watch news stories and YouTube videos about the Russian invasion with a sense of outrage. With outrage comes confusion, fear, and sadness. We feel empathy for the Ukrainian people as well as for innocent Russian people who are speaking out. We feel helpless. We just want it to be over. We want peace.
I feel the following article from Psychology Today summaries for many of us how we may be feeling and our opportunities to take action with what we can control.
It’s recognised that:
Many people feel upset and powerless watching the war in Ukraine.
Strategies to cope with those emotions include donating to those in Ukraine, acknowledging one's feelings, and practicing inner peace.
People can also aim to resolve conflicts and promote peace in their own personal life.
Most likely, none of us reading this are international relations experts or individuals who can directly influence the cessation of this war. That is not something in our control. Our opportunity now is to focus on what we can control. We can take immediate action to help others (e.g., donation) and we can take the long-term approach of bringing more peace and stability in our own life (and thereby positively impact others). Both are types of action in our control. Taking action is a choice; inaction is also a choice.
Consider these five strategies of action involving character strengths and/or peace. This is interspersed with the wisdom the late Thich Nhat Hanh, the monk renowned for his teachings on mindfulness and peace.
“It takes time to practice generosity, but being generous is the best use of our time.” —Thich Nhat Hanh
1. Contribute directly. A primary strategy is to determine — using your kindness and prudence (practical wisdom) — how might you contribute to or support Ukraine in some way. A Google search of “How can I help Ukraine” offers numerous opportunities in your country or region. Be wary of scams as you look for legitimate ways to provide support. You have the option to look for ways to help Ukraine.
“Go back and take care of yourself. Your body needs you, your feelings need you, your perceptions need you. Your suffering needs you to acknowledge it.” —Thich Nhat Hanh
2. Give space for your emotions. The anger and fear you feel about the war is a normal response. A human response. You can honour your humanity with your emotional intelligence by first, naming how you feel, and second, breathing in and out with your feelings. Don’t shy away from your suffering or the suffering of others. You might decide to share your feelings with people you trust.
“If we want peace, we have to be peace. Peace is a practice not a hope.” —Thich Nhat Hanh
3. Create your practice of inner peace: What is your practice of peace? Use your strength of perspective to consider what you do in your life right now that brings you calm or a sense of balance. How might you take action to build your inner peace? If you are filled with war on the inside, you cannot expect to be able to handle war on the outside. When there is greater peace on the inside, you have a clearer perspective of yourself, your relationships, and the world.
4. Practice peace-spotting in others. It is not just the level of inner peace where we have some control, we can also create more peace in our relationships. We can give our relationships a boost of peace. You can apply the well-known, evidence-based practise of strengths spotting and turn it into “peace-spotting.” You can SEA peace with three steps:
· Spot: Catch someone expressing peace.
· Explain: Describe how you saw their peace — was it in their actions, their demeanour, or their words?
· Appreciate: Express how you value their peace and point out the character strengths you saw them using.
"Each moment is a chance for us to make peace with the world, to make peace possible for the world, to make happiness possible for the world.” —Thich Nhat Hanh
5. Build peace in one of your groups.
· Make a list of the groups you are part of — any group of three or more people. Consider your neighbourhood, work teams, classroom teams, and groups relating to sport, politics, religion, leisure, and other social groups.
· Next, be curious: How might I bring forth more peace or harmony in the interactions?
