Well, I just couldn’t resist sharing Part 2 of Doug Schumann’s article on the wonderful Ted Lasso.
If you missed my last share, Ted Lasso is a great new Apple + series that has just concluded its second season. However, the leadership learns from Ted are exponential. If you missed Part 1 – please have a read
This article focuses on Episodes 4-6 of Ted Lasso Season 1 so be sure to watch those episodes before reading this.
As a refresher, the main lessons discussed in Part 1 were:
● Be yourself
● Catch people doing things well.
● Be kind
● Be open to new ideas
● In coaching, one size does not fit all
● Focus on lessons for life, not for just sports
● Ask rather than tell
The lessons learned in the first three episodes continue to resonate throughout the show. In Part 2, consider some new lessons that were introduced.
Be Vulnerable
Ted chooses to be vulnerable from day 1. What we don’t know is if his vulnerability is a personality trait, or if he learned it along his own journey. Nevertheless, it always comes across as authentic. He is willing to share personal stories and anecdotes from his life that a lesser person might try to take advantage of or make fun of. Ted isn’t concerned about what others may do with the information he shares. He is vulnerable, nonetheless. Ted like many other great leaders understands that one of the boldest things a leader can chose to do is to be vulnerable. By willing to be vulnerable, Ted allows others to truly see him and creates an environment of psychological safety wherein they realize they can let down their guard and be vulnerable around him as well.
To borrow from Brene Brown, “To love is to be vulnerable, to give someone your heart and say, 'I know this could hurt so bad, but I'm willing to do it; I'm willing to be vulnerable and love you.' As the show progresses, Ted’s willingness to be vulnerable endears him to the team and everyone around him. He not only empathises with people, but by being vulnerable invites them to empathise with him. This interpersonal emotional regulation creates a higher level of working relationship. In many ways it is that vulnerability that pivots so many of his initial doubters to become his advocates and biggest fans. It provides everyone on the team with the ability to truly be themselves and become closer to one another.
See Different Perspectives
Great leaders and coaches can step out of their own experiences and see the world through other people’s eyes. The best leaders and coaches are able to get other people to do the same. Ted attempts to “Parent Trap” Roy and Jamie to get them to find some common ground. He reminds them both that you don’t have to be great friends to be great teammates, but you do have to develop mutual respect and find some common ground. Roy can’t stand Jamie because he is a “primadonna”. Ted asks Roy what he was like when he was Jamie’s age. Of course, Roy remembers that he was a lot like Jamie back then. Ted is executing some Ninja level interpersonal relationship moves. He is doing what researchers have described as dual-perspective shifting. He not only has the ability to empathically understand Roy’s situation, but also maintain his own perspective and intentions while guiding Roy to reflect on a younger version of himself, all while predicting the outcome of this manoeuvre on Jamie. More simply put, he has a great ability to be able to put himself in other people’s shoes and gain empathy for who they are and what they are going through.
Create a Common Language and Culture
The best teams have developed a common, shared history and speak in their own “shorthand”. By shorthand I mean they have adopted words or phrases that have meaning within the organisation. Early on Ted placed a banner in the locker room with one word on it, “believe”. This word is used throughout the series and becomes part of the identity of the team. Among countless other examples of words and phrases that the team adopts, by the end of the season, everyone on the team knows what it means to “be a goldfish”. The team continues to develop its own unique culture and habits.
The team is provided a bit of a club history lesson including some of the sadder events that have occurred. In order to expel some “ghosts of the past”, the team is asked to offer something meaningful to themselves as a sign of respect to those who had previously made sacrifices. All team members were asked to bring something of value to them to the ceremony and to burn it in a fire. This is a powerful ritual that has the ability to transform the minds and hearts of the team.
By honouring the past together, the team creates a stronger bond, a sense of belonging to something bigger than themselves. It is an “ego stripping” process that breaks down the barriers to forming the essential connections necessary for high performance. The best teams honour their past and do their best to 1) Live up to that legacy, and 2) Leave the jersey in a better place than when they got there.
If you have ever been part of a great team or organisation, you can very easily think of words, phrases and shared events that are seared into your brain forever. Even after you have left that team or organisation, any time you see someone that was part of the same team, even if they were there at a different time, you immediately share a sense of camaraderie and know the same “lingo”. There is a sense of pride that you can consider yourself a member of that “family”.
Pay Close Attention
Ted is constantly scanning the room and paying close attention to everyone and everything that is going on. Ted has the capacity to readily shift from a broad attentional focus where he tries to see everything, constantly gathering information and “reading the room”. But also, a narrow attentional focus such as when Ted quickly picked up on what type of person Rupert really is, even though so many others are enamoured with him. Ted may have been the only one that realized that Rupert was responsible for the Robbie Williams cancellation at the auction.
In Episode 5 Jamie was having a great game. The fans were cheering and almost everyone was excited, except for the other members of the team. Ted realized that Jamie’s teammates were not celebrating his goals. Ted paid attention long enough to realize that he had to bench Jamie. It was the right thing to do, for the team. Paying close attention, both broad at times, and narrow at others, provides you with the ability to pick up on small nuances that others may miss.
One other thing to add about paying attention, Ted always remains positive and focused on the good. Again, Ninja level emotional regulation. We know by now that Ted has some legitimate pain in his marriage, which for most humans can significantly influence their emotional state to the negative. Despite this, Ted is able to maintain focus on his core values and continue to remain kind, optimistic and positive. When Nate begins to celebrate the fact that Jamie has been benched, both Ted and Coach Beard proclaim one of their steadfast rules “No Schadenfreude!”. For those that are not familiar with the term, Schadenfreude is essentially finding pleasure in the pain of others. I think it is extremely important and telling of the kind of person that Ted is that he has a “No Schadenfreude” rule.
Most people want to do the right things and expect others to do the right things too. Sometimes people can struggle with doing what is right and it is easy to cheer against someone who hasn’t been playing nicely. We often love to see people get their “comeuppance”. Ted realizes that change is hard, and everyone has their own battles to fight. Because of this, life’s lessons can be painful for people to endure. Ted makes it clear that while he wants to have people learn from life’s lessons, he (and we should) always want to be empathetic to them and help them through tough times. His “No Schadenfreude!” rule is a great rule for every team and leader to abide by.
Practice Makes Perfect
When Jamie claims he can’t practice because he’s hurt, pretty much everyone on the team realizes that Jamie is faking his injury simply because he has been benched. When Ted is concerned about the fact that Jamie can’t practice, Jamie says “Relax Ted, it’s just practice” …
In American sports, there was a story from a number of years ago where a very famous basketball player couldn’t believe that his coach was making such a big deal about practice. Similar to Jamie saying “Relax Ted, it’s just practice”, that player kept saying, “We’re talking about practice”. This player didn’t realize the importance of practice, just like Jamie.
When Jamie says “relax Ted, it’s just practice” this is the first time we see Ted get visibly upset. Ted takes the phrase “we’re talking about practice” and turns it on its head. His intonation makes all the difference. The mastery of this move is the dissonance created by what he is saying and what he is communicating. His non-verbal “energy” (posture, tone of voice) creates a message that cannot be ignored.
“We’re talking about practice. The only place we get to play together, We’re talking about practice. the only time we’ve got control over. The rest of the time, it’s us 11 against those 11.”
You see what Ted understands, and what Jamie clearly doesn’t, is that the absolute best competitors in sports and in life take practice as seriously as when playing in the game or performing in their job. They realize that practice is where you hone your skills and prepare for as many potential scenarios as you could possibly foresee. There are numerous stories of how the best players of all time are relentless during practice. Many are said to be “First in, last out” of practice, at work, etc. They realize that practicing as though it were the game makes game time that much easier.
There are countless stories about some of the greatest competitors of all time like Kobe Bryant, Michael Jordan and Tom Brady bringing everything they have to practice in order to ensure the team is fully prepared come game time. Whatever you do, it is critical to put in the practice and walk through potential scenarios and outcomes. The more work and practice you put in, the better each player/team member will be. According to the Harvard Business Review (Get Your Team to Do What It Says It’s Going to Do by Heidi Grant) ‘if-then planners’ are about 300% more likely than others to reach their goals. In other words, practice makes perfect.
So consider the key reflections:
● Be Vulnerable
● See Different Perspectives
● Create a Common Language and Culture
● Pay Close Attention (with a no schadenfreude rule)
● Practice Makes Perfect
The main lessons covered here resonate throughout this series and align with a deeper theme of developing empathy and understanding for your teammates. Great teams are built where all the members realize they are fortunate to be working to create something greater than themselves, and by working together and leveraging the varying skills and experiences of everyone in the room, what they form can truly be greater than the sum of its parts.
Want to develop your leadership skills? Send me an email at michelle@bakjacconsulting.com to enquire about coaching and training to develop strategies.
Michelle Bakjac is an experienced Psychologist, Organisational Consultant, Coach, Speaker and Facilitator. As Director of Bakjac Consulting, she is a credentialed Coach with the International Coach Federation (ICF) and a member of Mental Toughness Partners and an MTQ48 accredited Mental Toughness practitioner. Michelle assists individuals and organisations to develop their Mental Toughness to improve performance, leadership, behaviour and wellbeing. You can find her at www.bakjacconsulting.com or michelle@bakjacconsulting.com
