Recently, one of my senior leaders who I have coached for many years suggested I watch a great new Apple + series called Ted Lasso. We all get many recommendations to watch “the next great series” by many people, but I have a lot of respect for this client so decided to give it a go.
Well, I just loved it.
This post by Doug Schumann recently just summarised the great man that is Ted Lasso. We all have something to learn from his leadership skills.
Now before reading the rest of this article, if you have not yet watched Ted Lasso, please stop what you are doing immediately and invest the approximately 300 minutes (5 hours) necessary to watch the entire first season. This is a “must do activity” if you are passionate about leading and/or coaching people. Trust me when I say it will be time well spent and provide a great Return on Investment! At a minimum, watch the first three episodes which are referenced in this article. Once you have done that, feel free to read on.
Ted Lasso is a show about an American college football coach who is hired to lead a professional soccer (or what the rest of the world calls football) team in London. This “fish out of water” story provides ample support for the belief that you don’t have to be an expert in a particular field in order to be a great and effective leader. Ted begins proving this point in the first episode and progresses through the finale.
Because this show resonated so deeply with me, I thought I would share some of the wisdom it provides. As there are so many great lessons in the show, the hardest part is to decide which ones to talk about. But here are some great lessons to take away.
Be yourself
Ted is very comfortable with who he is. While he has a self-deprecating humour, he also exudes confidence in the things he does know. One important aspect of being himself is being honest and admitting what he doesn’t know. In the first episode, it becomes abundantly clear that Ted knows very little about the actual game of soccer. Ted believes his mission is coaching his team members to be the best they can be and teaching them to trust themselves, trust each other, and work together. He expects his team and those around him to be experts in what they need to do, and for winning to be the eventual by-product of their work.
Frankly this is refreshing, and it fully aligns with the real world of management. In many fields and roles, managers are not, nor should they be experts in what their teams are doing. Their role is often to lead and provide strategic direction and support. In fact, in many cases, when a manager or leader is an expert in a particular area, they may end up spending too much time micromanaging or doing the work themselves rather than relying on their team to deliver results. Ted is comfortable letting the experts do their thing.
It is Ted’s authenticity that catches people off guard. There is a sense of disbelief where people wonder, ‘is this guy for real?' It takes a while for people to realise that it is not an act, that Ted is a guy who is clear about who he is and what he values.
Catch people doing things well
When we first meet Nate, he has very low confidence. From their earliest encounters Ted is quick to point out things that Nate is doing well. Even something as small as the way he mixes the team's sports drink is praised by Ted. This shows Nate that Ted is paying attention. We begin to realise that in Ted’s world, hard work and doing things the right way will be praised and acknowledged. Over the course of the season Ted’s ability to catch Nate (and others) doing the right thing helps them all increase their self-confidence.
It takes energy to pay attention to the good deeds of others. Ted recognises the value of positive reinforcement as a mechanism for behaviour change. Moreover, he does it in a manner that is clearly authentic. We get the impression that Ted truly means it and provides the feedback without seeming to fill any agenda, except to recognise the good in those around them. Doing so instils in others a sense of “worth-ness” and worthiness, that they belong, are important and will contribute to something larger.
Be kind
In alignment with catching people doing things well, Ted is very kind. From baking biscuits for the boss, handing out compliments, saying “I appreciate you”, to planning a celebration for a team member who is homesick, Ted constantly tries to "fight fire" with kindness.
Even when people are mean to Ted, he does his best to respond with kindness. Whether it is being called a “wanker” or made fun of for not knowing anything about the sport he is coaching, Ted keeps an upbeat attitude and responds with kind words and a smile.
There are many other examples including one of my favourites, when Ted eats extremely hot food to make sure Ollie looks good in front of his father-in-law. Being kind to others begins to pay off as people are less willing to be mean to someone who is truly kind, and over time more and more people begin to care about, and root for nice people to do well.
Ted and other transformative leaders can pull this off because they have done the work to know who they are. Ted is clearly aware of his shortcomings, what he has control over and what he doesn’t. And with this awareness, he is also clear what he does have control of, his own behaviours. He seems to pull from an endless reservoir of “positivity” which baffles many of those around him, and when others realize that “this is who he is”, he rapidly gains their trust and loyalty. His kindness becomes a catalyst for transformation in others.
Be open to new ideas
Ted is willing to consider suggestions from anyone. In addition to helping Nate gain confidence, Ted is willing to try out Nate’s ideas. He doesn’t promise he will do everything Nate suggests, he mentions that he will start with trying Nate's ideas on (like an outfit or a dress) to see if they fit. Ted starts simple in asking for ideas by using a suggestion box. More importantly, Ted makes some of the changes the team provides. By making some simple changes that people have asked for (like improving the water pressure in the showers), it again shows that Ted is paying attention and “controlling what he can control”. By being open to new ideas, more people will feel included and will be willing to offer even more suggestions. The more that different people and perspectives are heard, the better likelihood of success. And, in any organisation, little eventually becomes big. Making small incremental changes eventually leads to big changes and increased momentum.
For many leaders this type of approach could be perceived as a sign of weakness; after all, leaders lead because they know the way. At least that is what many leaders believe. The best leaders know this couldn’t be further from the truth. We get the sense that Ted knows the destination but instead of forcing his team there, he relies on high performing individuals and a high performing team to get there themselves. He leads the team with a simple mantra to set the stage for all the possibilities…”believe”. Ted eliminates the hierarchy and creates a relationship that invites collaboration.
In coaching, one size does not fit all
The best coaches tailor their approach to each individual. From providing different books to each player, to changing his coaching approach depending on every person he is working with, Ted manages to eventually break through to the entire team. With Sam, his initial focus is helping him think like a goldfish (they have 10 second memories), with Jamie, it is pivoting to positive reinforcement (thanks to advice from Keeley), with Roy it starts by “not doing anything” (not stepping in when Nate is being bullied, expecting Roy to stand up and lead the locker room, etc.). Some people are ready for coaching from day one, others take more time. Some like to be coached in one way, others prefer a different approach. Like the greatest coaches out there, Ted realises he will get the best results by treating each individual in a way that motivates them.
Focus on lessons for life, not for just sports
Early in the show Ted is lambasted for saying he doesn’t care about the wins or losses. While Ted probably doesn’t actually believe this, and is more likely trying to make a point. I believe Ted was saying that his true calling is a higher calling than a focus on the wins and losses. When pushed by a reporter to explain why he is doing something as crazy as coaching a sport he knows nothing about Ted says “I love coaching. For me, success is not about the wins and losses. It’s about helping these young fellas be the best version of themselves on and off the field.” Ted is constantly working on making everyone on the team better people, and better people are better friends, spouses, parents, and teammates.
Many teams and leaders put up with toxic individuals because they are delivering great results. Over time this can lead to other members of the team becoming disengaged and disenchanted. When Ted initially takes over the team, these types of behaviours were allowed to occur. On some teams an “A player” can behave badly as long as they are delivering wins. As Ted is focused on making the team members better people, rather than on the wins, Ted decides to make some very difficult decisions regarding who to play, and who to bench. In the long run these decisions are the right ones to make, but unfortunately in the real world, many leaders aren’t confident enough to make them.
Ask rather than tell
The best coaches let people draw their own conclusions. These coaches know that people are much more willing to do something when they make the decision on their own rather than when they are told to do something. Roy doesn’t understand why Ted won’t police the locker room and also can’t comprehend why he was given the book “A Wrinkle in Time”. After reading the “story of a young girl’s struggle with the burden of leadership as she journeys through space”, Roy realizes it has to be him. Roy has to step up and lead the locker room. Essentially, Ted uses the framework of a metaphor (the story in a book) to bypass the rigidity in Roy’s thinking. Roy is able to “hear” the message in a way that does not challenge his crusty image, and instead he is able to associate with the values of leadership portrayed in the character of the story. Brilliant!!
Trent Crimm sums up Ted’s approach quite nicely. “His coaching is subtle, it never hits you over the head. Slowly growing until you can no longer ignore its presence. Whether that means allowing followers to become leaders or in a show of respect eating food so spicy it’s sure to wreak massive havoc on his intestinal system… I can’t help but root for him”.
So, what are your key take always from this great show. I don’t think any show has made me think so hard about what I have learnt from a character.
Want to explore your leadership potential? Send me an email at michelle@bakjacconsulting.com to enquire about coaching and training to develop your strategies.
Michelle Bakjac is an experienced Psychologist, Organisational Consultant, Coach, Speaker and Facilitator. As Director of Bakjac Consulting, she is a credentialed Coach with the International Coach Federation (ICF) and a member of Mental Toughness Partners and an MTQ48 accredited Mental Toughness practitioner. Michelle assists individuals and organisations to develop their Mental Toughness to improve performance, leadership, behaviour and wellbeing. You can find her at www.bakjacconsulting.com or michelle@bakjacconsulting.com
